There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count, and those who can't, and those who thought they knew how this joke would end. My doctor says I have OCD. My doctor says I have OCD. My doctor says I have OCD. My doctor says I have OCD. Now that I'm done with corny, not funny gag jokes let's move on to the meat of this three course meal. I know most of you are pretty excited because Christmas is right around the corner, and this LLC is dedicated to that.

Lyric of the Week: I know what you want, and I know what you need, but I'm gonna screw it up, cause I'm an idiot, and I'm your boyfriend. I'm gonna take you out, leave my wallet home, then I'll use your cell phone, baby, long distance, and I'm your boyfriend.

Site of the Week: www.ninjaburger.com Basically another stupid site about ninjas, which are totally sweet. I'll also give you a bonus link, www.realultimatepower.net, I know most of you have seen this link long ago and think it's quite boring, but if you haven't check it out, unless you don't like really immature and gross humor, in which case don't.

Quote of the Week: Each poet if a poet in pursuing
The muses thro' their bowers of Truth or Fiction,
Has studied very little of his part,
Read nothing, written less in short's a fool
Endued with neither soul, nor sense, nor art,
Being ignorant of one important rule,
Employed in even the theses of the school
Called I forget the heathenish Greek name
[Called anything, its meaning is the same]
"Always write first things uppermost in the heart." - Edgar Allen Poe (most of an amazing poem called Elizabeth, it's talking about the craft of poetry and the lack of fact or preparation, instead it's based on what you feel and is most important to you)

Top Ten List of the Week:
Top Ten things not to rush and spend your money on this Christmas
10. Meatloaf's "Miracle Weight-Loss Pills"
9.  The Do it Yourself Guide to Nuclear Fission
8.  Anything with the words "Not to be used by terrorists" or "Keep away from abandoned minefields"
7. Weasel Toast, combining the nutritious flavor of wheat bread with the furry goodness of weasel.
6. "White Like Me"- Written by Michael Jackson, with forward by Gwen Weatherspoon
5.  George W. Bush's "New Word of the Day" calendar, includes words such as strategery, pandelirium, and calculatizers.
4. Cocaine
3. The New "Enron Calculator" actual models used by Enron executives. Calculations such as 3x2= 4,112,384.86 can be made with just a few simple keystrokes.
2. Operating Room Bloopers
1. Tom Leu's Guide to Attracting That Special Someone

I heard the dorkiest joke there is recently and I thought I'd share it with you. If you don't understand it, don't worry, that means you're not a total loser. If you do understand it, please go buy a shirt that says "I am A Loser" (or the "C:/Dos Run shirt, which basically says the same thing) so that everyone can identify you as a geek easily. If you laughed at any part of this first section you are almost certainly male, and also a dork.
It's a funny thing I was thinking about the other day. As a few of you whom have talked to me may have noticed I think about girls, qutie a bit. In fact, while the average guy thinks about them every 2.7 seconds (Warning: Made up statistics) I've thought about them 10 times in the 2.6 seconds between. The irony in this is as much time as I spend pondering and writing about them, you'd think I would be good with them, wouldn't you? Well you my friend, would be mistaken. Which is really why this whole thing got started. If there was a class on women, like "AP Women Studies" or "The Class That Garuntees You To Get Really Hot Babes All The Time" I'd probably fail. Sometimes a distorted and cynical (but healthy) sense of humor simply don't get you very far. It's time like these I like to use gibberish. For instance, someone comes up to me and says, "Tom, your sense of humor is distorted and cynical, and it isn't getting you very far," I would reply with "Heeble gabble doo daddy diddly yum cherry flop flip flap jack skeebly doobly skeegle rooooooooooo!!!" (All the while flailing my arms in such a way as to mimic monkey dancing). The beauty of this system is that the people ALWAYS stop talking to you.
Sometimes I'll be talking with someone and they'll say something really dumb, and I use this witty comeback, "Ixnay on the shut your face hole" (Or for our El Spanisho talking friends, Ixnay on the shut your face hole)
Sometimes I think that the only difference between a streetlight and a wolf is that one is a device made by humans to utilize the illuminating effects of fire in order to provide for safer travel at night, while the other is a carnivorous animal that hunts its pray with unrelenting ferocity. This brings me to my next point, wolves are scary. They might pretend to be nice, they might even tell you they're selling home appliances, but the only thing they're selling is death. Death, and vaccum cleaners.
Okay, to finish things off let's talk about the pics. First off when I find a good picture I'll save it and name it something like HGOTW (description of pic here) and a lot of times I forget which one I mean to send out or have already sent. So if a pic has been sent before tell me, and I'll iron things out. Now I don't know which LOTW or HGOTW of the week it is, but sticking with the Ninja theme the FPOTW is a ninja poster.

Tom Leu,
LLC President